A sweet mama who helped minister to me and mine when we lost Jedidiah just lost her baby today. She and I haven’t seen one another in a while, but my heart breaks for her all the same. Some of you are thinking, “I cannot fathom what she is going through.”
I can. I wish I couldn’t. I wish she was not part of this club in which we kissed the shell of our sweet babies and said a forced, undesired goodbye. Hopes, dreams, expectations… all ripped away in an instant. Now begins awkward moments with others trying to bring comfort where there is none. Now, words and actions that bring the most venomous response we have ever felt or expressed, often toward the ones we love the most. Now, a feeling of desire to be the best parent ever to our remaining children but failing miserably time after time. Now, a need to be held the closest by our husband as he grieves differently and it royally ticks us off. Now, moments of rage at a stop light and then the juxtaposition of singing praise and glory to the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords–the one who allowed my baby to die. Now, the guilt, the shame, the nightmares, the desire to make all the pain go away.
Pray for my friend, please. This is the beginning of a very dark time, but pray God reveals Himself in every whisper, in every hug, in every moment, so that when she looks back over this valley, she will see Him and all that He is capable of, even in the midst of her sorrow.
We are Jedidiah. 