A friend just posted on fb that her ultrasound went well and that her son looks healthy. I am so glad for her. I am jealous, too. I wish I could go back to that day in the ultrasound room and have someone shake me awake. I wish that we never had to hear the words “incompatible with life.” I wish that I was stronger. I want my son. I want to know what he would look like at this age. I want to see him growing and changing and laughing.
I know that his life was perfect. I know that he is in a better place away from the cares of this world. I know these things, but I still hurt. I still ache. Thankfully, I have hope. I have peace. I have the love of a Father who cares to hold all my tears.
We are Jedidiah. 
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