Twelve years old

Twelve years old…
Twelve years of bundled and jumbled memories
Twelve years of tears mixed with joy
Twelve years of remembering your tiny body
Twelve years of wondering if I could have done something differently to hold you in my arms longer
Twelve years of knowing you would be growing up but still you are only a baby to me
Twelve years of seeing families with five and then six children and wondering what our family pictures would have looked like but still only able to picture you grabbing your Papa’s finger
Twelve years of baby sounds resonating in my mind
Twelve years of looking forward to heaven – of knowing here or there, I have a sweet boy to love on
Twelve years of wondering more in-depth what heaven is really like: relationships, homes, daily life, and aspects I never thought about before you died
Twelve years of trying to love your brothers better
Twelve years of learning more about God’s heart of care in suffering
Twelve years of being allowed to minister to others because of all your little life taught me…
Twelve years old and a lifetime of learning still to go

One Comment to “Twelve years old”

  1. Love you both and we will always remember Jedidiah and his precious life. Your reunion in heaven will be so beautiful. Sending love, hugs and prayers as you remember your sweet son on his birthday.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: