Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, day 25

It got to be too much.  We had to leave to work at the ministry retreat after my first 3 posts about Pregnancy and InfantLoss Awareness Month, and I couldn’t stop grieving.  The pain, the heartache… I began to relive them anew.  Oh, there were moments of peace and wonder, but overwhelmingly, I was sinking deeper into the darkness.  October 8th Jedidiah would have been 18 months old.  I can’t picture him as anything other than my tiny little baby, so it sounds so odd to say “18 months old.”  But, I hate writing that he “died 18 months ago.”  Writing that he was born 18 months ago seems incomplete.  How do I succinctly convey that part of me was born, lived, and died on the same day?  Guess I’ll keep pondering that.

This month just kept getting harder because SavannahGrace was due on October 11, 2010.  Now, her I always picture as a curly-headed toddler.  The little girl who was fascinated with my flower in the OB’s office was named Savannah and curly headed, so I know where the image was formed, but it is interesting that I have never been able to quite picture her face, only a smile.  SavannahGrace.

There are many great sites out there, and I want to put them on here.  I will get to them, but it will probably be short and sweet.  I know you’ll understand.

http://www.livingwithtri13.org/   A 501(c)(3) non-profit organization whose mission is to assist families of children with trisomy and other rare diagnoses.

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